I'm not ashamed to admit it

Currently reading the Twilight books (very fast, entertaining) - and went to see the movie a few nights ago. Will probably go see it again tonight. This is what makes paying to see this movie twice worthwhile. Yow.

And as an added bonus, here is a non-photoshopped* picture of me and Robert Pattinson. Don't we look great together?

*Complete lie.

Best. Christmas. Song. EVER.

There is a tiny part of me that feels bad laughing until I cry when listening to this, but the sheer joy the song brings makes up for it. Awesome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI4xRP3bX18

The truth shall set you free

Proof at last! I take a lot of crap from my friends about watching cartoons, and now I give you documentation that despite all the protests and teasing, they like them just as much. A-ha!

From: Jen

To: Laura

Subject: RE: I almost forgot!!!!

When do the new cartoons start! I miss Bumblebee

From: Laura

To: Jen

Subject: RE: I almost forgot!!!!
Perceptor. He's alright. Ha!

From: Jen

To: Laura

Subject: RE: I almost forgot!!!!

Who is the other one?

From: Laura

To: Jen

Subject: I almost forgot!!!!
Guess what I found this morning??? Wheeljack is going to be in the new Transformers cartoon!!! WOOHOO!. I like Wheeljack :) Although, I am wondering why they gave him that little beard thing on his 'chin' - he doesn't have a mouth, so that seems a bit out of place. Oh well :) AND he looks pretty much exactly like the 80's version! Neat!

Dear Santa,

Here is my Christmas list. I think we both know how my behavior for the year ranks, but it can't hurt to make my requests anyway, right? Here goes.

1. Red vs. Blue box set

2. Kitchenaid mixer

3. Snow boots

4. Xbox 360

5. a pony
6. a Karma
7. The Piemaker

Thanks Santa. I'll leave the cookies out :)

Okay, really? REALLY?

This makes me sick. I just can't quite get my head around this kind of stuff...not that religion is my thing (and aside from the fact that Christmas is now officially a secular holiday), but this kind of mindless lunacy doesn't seem to celebrate the spirit of the season:

1. At a Wal-Mart store in Columbus, Ohio, Nikki Nicely, 19, jumped onto a man’s back and pounded his shoulders when he tried to take a 40-inch Samsung flat-screen television to which she had laid claim. “That’s my TV!” Ms. Nicely shouted. “That’s my TV!”
A police officer and security guard intervened, but not before Ms. Nicely took an elbow in the face. In the end, she was the one with the $798 television, marked down from $1,000. “That’s right,” she cried as her adversary walked away. “This here is my TV!”

2. That guy who was killed at another WalMart when the crazed mob outside physically broke the store doors down and trampled that poor employee to death. Merry Christmas to his family, huh? Thank goodness you won't have to deal with the tragedy of your own precious little angels not getting that new Hannah Montana doll they HAD TO HAVE RIGHT NOW.

3. For real now, I'm going to be sick. I want a 360 too, but I'll be damned if I will ever engage in this kind of mature, adult behavior for one...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehSkxg7wvyk&feature=related

Disgusting. Hey kids, enjoy playing Guitar Hero - you'll need to keep busy since Mommy and Daddy are at the courthouse trying to make bail for assault & battery.

Chrome? That's so 2007

If you want to really show how obscenely rich you are, and exactly how much throwaway money you have, this right here is possibly the best way to go about it. Pristine mirror-finish Bugatti:

Lucky Duck Revised

I have corrected the problem with the original picture of Lance and Kacey. Now I am in the picture :)

Lucky Duck

Just talked to Kacey - she was having lunch at a Big Boy in Burbank, CA when who should sit himself down at the table right next to hers? Lance Bass! I curse my own rotten luck for not being the one to meet him, but am pretty dang excited she got to. Here is the picture she took with her phone!

NKOTB v. 2.0

Quick recap: went to New Kids concert on the 4th, then got all VIP at their Vegas afterparty. Skip ahead to the 24th. THIS CLOSE to Donnie Wahlberg.

He 100% looked right at me. Not a delusional 'he was looking in the general direction of the section of the arena I was sitting in' look, but a for real look. Eye contact! I think I blacked out for a couple seconds. Here are a few more sweet, sweet pictures from the show.

Oopsie Poops

First, watch this video: McTrainwreck Goodness

The real beauty of this isn't the horrific gaffe he made, it's the stunned silence from the audience right afterwards. Hilarious!

I LOVE LAS VEGAS

Already excited about going to Vegas for the next four days, but things have just ramped up to TOTALLY FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE.

I am officially on the VIP guest list for the NKOTB after-concert party at the LAX club in Luxor. VIP guest list as in IN THE GODDAMN VIP ROOM WITH DONNIE WAHLBERG.

I have to go now, as I have died. Seriously.

Fun with Charts

These two charts were made by people more talented than me, but I have to share them -

Let's Be Realistic

It is no secret that I really like cars - cheap cars, exclusive cars, old cars, terrifyingly fast cars, and so on. But in all reality I will never own (or even be near) a lot of the cars I love. So in the interest of killing time before lunch here is a quick rund0wn of cars that I like and could also own one day. Plus a couple bonus cars at the end that clearly are NOT realistic. :)

1. Ford Fiesta (yes, that's correct...they're bringing it back! At least in Europe...maybe US in a few more years)

2 and 3. Audi A4 and A5 - I have been lusting after the A4 for quite a few years, and it just keeps getting better looking..

4. Mitsubishi Lancer

5. Nissan Maxima - I really like this one..

6. Dodge Challenger SRT

And now the bonus cars! I give you the Maserati Gran Turismo S and the 2009 Aston Martin Vantage. Yow.

Unrelated

* Did you know that gangrene can set in even if the wound/infected area isn't exposed to the air? It can happen completely internally! You learn something new everyday, eh?

* I am really looking forward to the VP debates tonight. It promises to be painful, and funny.

* I think it is incredibly insulting when someone completely ignores you because they think you are beneath them somehow. The president of the place I work has been pretty sick lately, and every once in a while his wife will come in with him when he stops by to sign a few things. I don't think she has ever acknowledged my presence. I'm pretty sure she thinks that because I am a secretary (Executive, for the Vice President, mind) that I am not good enough to warrant a Hello or Good Morning. There have even been times where she has walked up and shut the door at the hallway entrance to keep me totally separated from all the other corporate folks. Even my attempts at talking to her are met with glares. Nice.


* Next weekend I am going to Las Vegas for the Ride. There is a brand new Lamborghini showroom that opened up there so of course it is on very small list of things I want to see. Aside from the Lambos, here are a few of the other cars they have on display (I wonder if they let people sit in them?):
Bugatti Veyron, Koenigsegg, Saleen, Spyker. The value of just one of these cars is more than I will ever see in my lifetime. I'm very excited!

Comedy Explosion!

I cannot stop laughing at this transcript. For real. I find it more and more difficult to read all of these stories and interviews, but the McCainwreck has gotten so goddamn bizarre I can't stop paying attention. There will most likely be more where this came from in a little while.

Couric: You've cited Alaska's proximity to Russia as part of your foreign policy experience. What did you mean by that?

Sarah Palin: That Alaska has a very narrow maritime border between a foreign country, Russia, and, on our other side, the land-boundary that we have with Canada. It's funny that a comment like that was kinda made to … I don't know, you know … reporters.

Couric: Mocked?

Palin: Yeah, mocked, I guess that's the word, yeah.

Couric: Well, explain to me why that enhances your foreign-policy credentials.

Palin: Well, it certainly does, because our, our next-door neighbors are foreign countries, there in the state that I am the executive of. And there…

Couric: Have you ever been involved in any negotiations, for example, with the Russians?

Palin: We have trade missions back and forth, we do. It's very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia. As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there, they are right next to our state.

Bikes and Batshit

This is what I did this weekend -



Also: people have gone batshit crazy. By people I mean anyone involved with the John McCain Train Wreck. Holy balls, what a fantastic mess! I have so many things to say about the events of the past couple days, I could write for 10 hours and still not have it covered. My suggestion? Find some video or audio of Letterman responding to being bitchslapped by McCain, find some transcripts from the Palin/Couric interview, and then read absolutely everything on Hanlon's Razor today.


Wow.

Words Fail Me

Charlie Gibson managed to get the first unscripted interview with Sarah Palin, and they showed the first part of it last night. And yes, you read that correctly: unscripted. Wow.

Anyway, it was a train wreck. For Palin.

In brief - doing 180's on certain topics (Iraq war is a task from God, specifically) and painfully clearly changing the topic back to the one or two things she knows about after presented with her exact quote; making flippant remarks about two extremely serious foreign involvment situations (Israel & nukes, going to war with Russia?!?) when she admittedly has absolutely zero foreign policy knowledge or experience; and NOT KNOWING WHAT THE BUSH DOCTRINE WAS. AT ALL. That is fucking fantastic.

Kill it! Kill it!

Holy shit, is this ugly. An as-yet-unconfirmed image of one of the 'new' Transformers, the Chevy Trax...I think I have a picture of it somewhere in a previous Transformers post - it's the red/orange one. Anyway, onward to the horror:

That thing looks like it was shit out of some bizarre shredding machine. There is some talk that the smaller, blurry picture is early Bumblebee concept art from the first movie, but look how deformed and stubby it is.

I shudder to think that this will actually be part of a 2 hour movie that will otherwise be filled with awesome.

Nice one, Science

I know I'm a bit behind the times with this one, but I just got around to watching it today and I think it is excellent. It's got the perfect blend of cheesy and informative with just a hint of 'that kinda makes me sad for the scientists who thought they would make learning about physics hip for the young folks'.

Damn Llamas

Quick backstory: my older sister has a horrifically ignorant coworker. When speaking to someone named, say, Jose, she kept repeatedly (with increasing volume) saying 'Como se llama?' to the man. He has lived in the United States his whole life, has spoken English his whole life, and so on.

She sent me this email earlier -
This is an email from como se llama. Find the sentence that really has me irked off. Keep in mind we have a department full of women with only 2 men. Also, I am very much anti-United Way and will not be forced into buying food to feed the entire floor. No way Jose.
_____________________________________________
Friday, September 05, 2008 8:08
Subject: Taco
I am going to Sam's today and while I'm there I am going to look into the prices on the supplies we need. I know that we will not buy everything in bulk but I figure this will at least give us a better idea about how much it is going to cost. Here is a list of the items we need. If I am forgetting anything please let me know.
hamburger
fritos
cheese
sour cream
lettuce
tomatoes
salsa/taco sauce
forks
napkins
It has also been suggested that we sell deserts w/ the tacos. So for those of you who do cook, or have wives that cook, be thinking of a desert item you would like to bring in and sell.
Thanks, M

That makes me smile. Today, 'smile' = 'despise M with the burning intensity of 1,000 suns'.

Ready...Set....Rant!

I have some thoughts on the RNCC speeches that took place last night. Specifically, Palin's speech. But first, here is a nifty little fact/lie comparison from Yahoo! News, one on McCain & Palin, and then one on Obama & Biden (in the spirit of fairness):
McCain & Palin Fact Check
Okay, looks like in the 30 seconds it took me to post the previous link, the Fact Check article on Obama & Biden has disappeared. I'll keep an eye out for it today to update this if it shows. But moving on...

Here are my initial (and second) thoughts regarding Palin's speech last night; yes, they are very wide generalizations and simplifications of her comments, but this is some basic bottom-line stuff:
1. If you are not a hard worker and/or do not support/like hard workers, you hate America and are unpatriotic.
2. Drilling into U.S. oil reserves is a great solution for ending our dependency on foreign oil. 10.4 billion barrels in Alaska (approximately), and we use 19.6 million barrels a day, or a little over 7 billion per year - you do the math. Hooray for short term solutions! Hooray for sticking it right up the environment's ass!
3. Obama never mentioned 'victory' in all his talks regarding the Iraq quagmire. Did I miss something here? He hasn't mentioned it because there hasn't been a victory. Unless she defines 'victory' as 'digging a deeper & deeper hole that is killing more people (Americans and innocent Iraqis) every day and creating more disgust and outrage at our government's military actions therein'.
4. Obama hasn't written any bills. I will refer to the Fact Check link above, and you can take a little peek at Obama's site. Hm.
5. Obama hates religion! And he also hates any people who are religious!
6. If you choose to do any type of community work or have a job in which you serve the community to better the lives of people there, you are a douchebag and a loser.

On a second-to-last note - there is an awful lot of noise about her daughter's pregnancy, and a lot of it is coming from the GOP clamoring for privacy in this family matter. The kicker? It was the GOP who released that bit of news to the media. But now they are crying foul and saying the media is focusing on a story that should not matter in the realm of politics. And then they paraded the whole family across the stage - pregnant daughter, baby daddy and all. But then told people to leave them alone. What?

And on a FINAL note - she is being praised for her super number one awesome best speech ever, but in her speech said that 'pretty speeches don't mean anything'. So....yours is okay? Or it doesn't mean anything?

A Correction, and an Important List

In a previous message, I said Sarah Palin was a creationist. My bad. She's an evangelical. I'm not sure this makes things better.

Also, an important (and probably oft-updated) list. By important I mean either hilarious or depressing. It's still up in the air.
What We've Learned, as put forth on the always enlightening Hanlon's Razor.

Let's talk Palin

Just a few brief thoughts on McCain's VP choice -
1. She's totally cool with opening up the Alaskan Natural Wildlife Preserve for oil drilling.
2. She's a creationist.
3. She doesn't actually know what the Vice President's job is.

I would add more, but it's difficult to type on a keyboard covered in puke.

Safety Glasses USA

I got my 'amber' eyeshield in the mail yesterday - it is a major part of the centerpiece for my Halloween costume. And it isn't 'amber.' Or even a little bit reflective/metallic/shiny looking, like the picture on the website proclaimed it to be:

It's bright yellow, and 100% transparent. I held it in place over the helmet last night, and I might as well not even have the damn thing on there. What a ripoff!

I am going to have to send it back now, and the company will screw me on that too: I have to pay for shipping it back (with all original papers, boxes, etc or they won't accept it), and if I don't place a new order or make an exchange at the time of return, they are going to deduct 10% of my refund as a restocking fee.

After getting a piss yellow eyeshield the first time around I don't really want to order another product from them, but I also don't want to have to pay two different charges and get nothing back from it.

Douchebags.

The waiting is going to kill me

Who is this?!? There has been absolutely NO word on who this will be. None.

And who are they? The Twins, most likely...it's really too bad Michael Bay couldn't get his hands on a couple Lamborghinis for them - that's they way they should be! Stink.

Now with more product placement goodness!

Thanks to one of the secret video saints on the forums (Gettodeath), here is the latest spy video of part of the Autobot fleet in action - Still no word on who the silver Corvette Centennial is, or the red & green zippy cars...but there's Optimus! And Ironhide. And a camera van.

Listen to the pipes on that Corvette!

Chupathingy!

Hot on the heels of a show I watched about these things last weekend, here is a news story/video about what may or may not be a Chupacabra. What are the odds? It just looks like a really yucky dog to me, but I'm not really an expert. Still interesting!

http://www.yahoo.com/s/934314

*Bonus content: click the headline to see the origin of 'Chupathingy' - It's at the very end.

Possible side effects include...

This is pretty funny. Not, of course, for the poor folks who had their frontal lobes poked into mush. Found on mentalfloss.com -

Worst Nobel Prize Winner Ever: Once a Nobel Prize is given, it cannot be revoked. Now and again, the award goes to someone who maybe did not deserve it, but the most undeserving winner has to be Antonio Egas Moniz, the Portuguese physician who won the prize for medicine in 1946 for inventing—yes—the leucotomy prefrontal (lobotomy). Egas Moniz’s surgery consisted of—if we may simplify it a bit—drilling a few holes in a patient’s skull and then repeatedly stabbing the patient in the brain. The lobotomy seemed to be successful at curing people of schizophrenic and paranoid psychoses, but they proved to have fairly serious side effects,such as “becoming a vegetable” and “becoming dead.” Although lobotomies are rare today, thanks to an improved understanding of mental illness and psychosis treatments, they’re still occasionally performed in some parts of the world.

No. Just.....No.

Here is a little picture story I have created - chapters 1 & 2 are about me and my favorite football team. Chapter 3 has a shocking twist that has shaken the very foundations of my love of football, the principles of team loyalty, and gut-wrenching disbelief. Enjoy!

Scrabble Points: 0

It has come to my attention recently that there are a very select group of people that like to talk. At great length. About anything at all. Just talktalktalktalktalktalk despite any insistence on the listener's part that they please stop, as the listener would like to spend a productive fifteen-twenty minutes working.

However, if one is extra lucky they may find a rare person in that select group of talkers. A rare person who uses the non-word "misconstruted" in the course of a conversation.

It's the little things.

Two Completely Unrelated Items

1. I do not like it when someone says they will take care of/handle/work on something, and then not follow through on it. Because of a recent situation exactly like this, I am now scrambling to get all kinds of official city government paperwork in order to receive permits, licenses, and use of electric/water/etc for a very large fundraising event I help organize. This is all very simple form-filling type stuff, that I could 100% have worked on and gotten finished a month ago. The person who said they would 'take care of it' has not only not done this work, but has also not told the committee he hasn't done it. Fantastic. Selfish prick.

And now that I have that off my chest, here is the next thing on my list - I did a little touch-up work to it, haha!

2.

I am hoping those two little black cycle-jobbers turn out to be a couple of Soundwave's not-so-much-cassettes-anymore buddies. That would be pretty sweet. Also, the chances of the silver car being Wheeljack or Tracks are very slim. It's probably Hot Rod or something lame like that. Ah well.

Impossible to Improve Upon

There is nothing that will make this better or funnier than it already is. Classic!

Notable Event

It doesn't happen very often that I do not enjoy a book, or that I actually have a strong desire to NOT finish reading it. I of course have my Nemesis List; there are only 4 books on it. The Nemesis List is for those books that I fully intend to read, but just can't get myself into them. Or for a book that haunted and hounded me for about 8 years *coughAnnaKareninacough*.

At the moment, I am trying to work my way through 'Gravity's Rainbow' by Thomas Pynchon. In all fairness I have not devoted as much time to it as I usually would with all the cake-baking and functions I've had to attend in the past few weeks. But the fact remains that after 3 weeks of carrying it around I'm only on page 117. Of 760.

First off, the format is mostly stream of conciousness, which I do not enjoy. It is also a stream from 7 or 8 characters, with no warning when jumping between them. Secondly, the book is filthy. Really filthy. And disturbing.

There is a good chance that this book may join the very select Haven't Finished List. Currently there is only 1 book on that list, 'Great Expectations.' I feel somewhat guilty about not sticking it out; after all, I managed to drag myself through Anna Karenina. This should be a snap! Except it is not, and if I'm being honest I don't think I'll lose too much sleep over putting this one back on the shelf for another go in a few years.

Sweet Mother!

I may actually cry a little. BMW M1 Hommage: