Comedy Explosion!

I cannot stop laughing at this transcript. For real. I find it more and more difficult to read all of these stories and interviews, but the McCainwreck has gotten so goddamn bizarre I can't stop paying attention. There will most likely be more where this came from in a little while.

Couric: You've cited Alaska's proximity to Russia as part of your foreign policy experience. What did you mean by that?

Sarah Palin: That Alaska has a very narrow maritime border between a foreign country, Russia, and, on our other side, the land-boundary that we have with Canada. It's funny that a comment like that was kinda made to … I don't know, you know … reporters.

Couric: Mocked?

Palin: Yeah, mocked, I guess that's the word, yeah.

Couric: Well, explain to me why that enhances your foreign-policy credentials.

Palin: Well, it certainly does, because our, our next-door neighbors are foreign countries, there in the state that I am the executive of. And there…

Couric: Have you ever been involved in any negotiations, for example, with the Russians?

Palin: We have trade missions back and forth, we do. It's very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia. As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there, they are right next to our state.

Bikes and Batshit

This is what I did this weekend -



Also: people have gone batshit crazy. By people I mean anyone involved with the John McCain Train Wreck. Holy balls, what a fantastic mess! I have so many things to say about the events of the past couple days, I could write for 10 hours and still not have it covered. My suggestion? Find some video or audio of Letterman responding to being bitchslapped by McCain, find some transcripts from the Palin/Couric interview, and then read absolutely everything on Hanlon's Razor today.


Wow.

Words Fail Me

Charlie Gibson managed to get the first unscripted interview with Sarah Palin, and they showed the first part of it last night. And yes, you read that correctly: unscripted. Wow.

Anyway, it was a train wreck. For Palin.

In brief - doing 180's on certain topics (Iraq war is a task from God, specifically) and painfully clearly changing the topic back to the one or two things she knows about after presented with her exact quote; making flippant remarks about two extremely serious foreign involvment situations (Israel & nukes, going to war with Russia?!?) when she admittedly has absolutely zero foreign policy knowledge or experience; and NOT KNOWING WHAT THE BUSH DOCTRINE WAS. AT ALL. That is fucking fantastic.

Kill it! Kill it!

Holy shit, is this ugly. An as-yet-unconfirmed image of one of the 'new' Transformers, the Chevy Trax...I think I have a picture of it somewhere in a previous Transformers post - it's the red/orange one. Anyway, onward to the horror:

That thing looks like it was shit out of some bizarre shredding machine. There is some talk that the smaller, blurry picture is early Bumblebee concept art from the first movie, but look how deformed and stubby it is.

I shudder to think that this will actually be part of a 2 hour movie that will otherwise be filled with awesome.

Nice one, Science

I know I'm a bit behind the times with this one, but I just got around to watching it today and I think it is excellent. It's got the perfect blend of cheesy and informative with just a hint of 'that kinda makes me sad for the scientists who thought they would make learning about physics hip for the young folks'.

Damn Llamas

Quick backstory: my older sister has a horrifically ignorant coworker. When speaking to someone named, say, Jose, she kept repeatedly (with increasing volume) saying 'Como se llama?' to the man. He has lived in the United States his whole life, has spoken English his whole life, and so on.

She sent me this email earlier -
This is an email from como se llama. Find the sentence that really has me irked off. Keep in mind we have a department full of women with only 2 men. Also, I am very much anti-United Way and will not be forced into buying food to feed the entire floor. No way Jose.
_____________________________________________
Friday, September 05, 2008 8:08
Subject: Taco
I am going to Sam's today and while I'm there I am going to look into the prices on the supplies we need. I know that we will not buy everything in bulk but I figure this will at least give us a better idea about how much it is going to cost. Here is a list of the items we need. If I am forgetting anything please let me know.
hamburger
fritos
cheese
sour cream
lettuce
tomatoes
salsa/taco sauce
forks
napkins
It has also been suggested that we sell deserts w/ the tacos. So for those of you who do cook, or have wives that cook, be thinking of a desert item you would like to bring in and sell.
Thanks, M

That makes me smile. Today, 'smile' = 'despise M with the burning intensity of 1,000 suns'.

Ready...Set....Rant!

I have some thoughts on the RNCC speeches that took place last night. Specifically, Palin's speech. But first, here is a nifty little fact/lie comparison from Yahoo! News, one on McCain & Palin, and then one on Obama & Biden (in the spirit of fairness):
McCain & Palin Fact Check
Okay, looks like in the 30 seconds it took me to post the previous link, the Fact Check article on Obama & Biden has disappeared. I'll keep an eye out for it today to update this if it shows. But moving on...

Here are my initial (and second) thoughts regarding Palin's speech last night; yes, they are very wide generalizations and simplifications of her comments, but this is some basic bottom-line stuff:
1. If you are not a hard worker and/or do not support/like hard workers, you hate America and are unpatriotic.
2. Drilling into U.S. oil reserves is a great solution for ending our dependency on foreign oil. 10.4 billion barrels in Alaska (approximately), and we use 19.6 million barrels a day, or a little over 7 billion per year - you do the math. Hooray for short term solutions! Hooray for sticking it right up the environment's ass!
3. Obama never mentioned 'victory' in all his talks regarding the Iraq quagmire. Did I miss something here? He hasn't mentioned it because there hasn't been a victory. Unless she defines 'victory' as 'digging a deeper & deeper hole that is killing more people (Americans and innocent Iraqis) every day and creating more disgust and outrage at our government's military actions therein'.
4. Obama hasn't written any bills. I will refer to the Fact Check link above, and you can take a little peek at Obama's site. Hm.
5. Obama hates religion! And he also hates any people who are religious!
6. If you choose to do any type of community work or have a job in which you serve the community to better the lives of people there, you are a douchebag and a loser.

On a second-to-last note - there is an awful lot of noise about her daughter's pregnancy, and a lot of it is coming from the GOP clamoring for privacy in this family matter. The kicker? It was the GOP who released that bit of news to the media. But now they are crying foul and saying the media is focusing on a story that should not matter in the realm of politics. And then they paraded the whole family across the stage - pregnant daughter, baby daddy and all. But then told people to leave them alone. What?

And on a FINAL note - she is being praised for her super number one awesome best speech ever, but in her speech said that 'pretty speeches don't mean anything'. So....yours is okay? Or it doesn't mean anything?

A Correction, and an Important List

In a previous message, I said Sarah Palin was a creationist. My bad. She's an evangelical. I'm not sure this makes things better.

Also, an important (and probably oft-updated) list. By important I mean either hilarious or depressing. It's still up in the air.
What We've Learned, as put forth on the always enlightening Hanlon's Razor.